High as Fuck – Jon Lajoie

High as Fuck by Jon Lajoie
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High as Fuck by Jon Lajoie

Have you ever watched the sun go down?
And you’re thinking bout’ the world spinning round
Have you ever been high as fuck?
You’re in the bathroom mirror talking to yourself
And your dog’s looking at you like you need help
Have you ever been high as fuck?
And then you feel your heart pumping really fast
And you’re convinced that you’re gonna have a heart attack
Have you ever been high as fuck?
You close your eyes and you’re on a chicken farm
The only problem’s that the chickens have human arms
You say “that’s fucked up, why do the chickens have human arms?”
You need snacks so you walk to the corner store
But you’re scared because you think that they will know you’re high
So you walk around the block to buy some time
You finally decide to go into the store
But you’re so high you don’t know why you’re there anymore
So you just buy a pack of gum and get the hell out of there
You’re walking home and you’re mouth is dry
You should have bought some juice and snacks
But you were too high
Thinking ’bout ketchup chips
And for some reason the game battleship
And you start thinking about how fun it was to play games
like battleship when you were a kid
and how, as we get older we forget how to play and just to enjoy ourselves
so you say “Guess What? I’m gonna make up a game right now
and it involves a baseball bat and a porcupine
and I’m gonna try to kill a porcupine with a baseball bat
but then you don’t know where to find a porcupine so
you do a search on ebay but people don’t sell porcupines on the internet
and you say “Guess what world?” you’ve got me cornered again
I’m gonna roll another joint
You ever eat a whole bag of crackers that were so old
That they weren’t crispy anymore?
Have you ever been high… as fuck?