Introducing Marijuana Flavored Pepper Spray

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BERKELEY—The city made famous for providing the nation with fiery protests since the 1960s is now the proud producer of the world’s first marijuana-based pepper spray. Christened the “One Hitter,” the new defensive pepper spray, currently used by Berkeley PD, is reportedly quelling unruly crowds and chilling out riotous mischief-makers.

Sgt. Randall Brownstone says the device is a truly revolutionary tool. “We’ve tested this grass-in-a-gas propellant on hundreds of unwilling participants so far and found them seriously sedated,” says Brownstone. “Oddly, we’ve seen riot crowds really increase since the use of these One Hitters.”

Rumors abound that Snoop Dogg could be behind the creation of the product, says one repeat protester, noting the frequent presence of a “Snoop’s Finger Lickin’ BBQ” pop-up truck at recent riot events: “It’s a chowfest after we all get doused with the dank!”

-By Dave Carpenter